well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
