So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
