I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
