some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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