i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
