His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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