At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
