yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
