In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize