i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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