You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
