I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize