we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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