I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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