I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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