Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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