We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
