Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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