The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
