i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
