glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
