I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
