don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
