Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
smell my finger.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
