i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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