Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
