I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
