The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
