People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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