when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize