i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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