He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
