dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
