I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
