im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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