Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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