I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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