i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
