it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
