weddingsv make me drug and hornr
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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