We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize