this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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