Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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