If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
