IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
this hospital has no fireball
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize