fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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