The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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