i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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