the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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