I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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