Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
