New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
