it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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