Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
