My hand turned me down
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
