4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize