I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
