The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize