my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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