Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
