omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
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The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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