Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
