If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Panties = found
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
