Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
