I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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