His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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