My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
