Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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