do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
