The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
