after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
