i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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