What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
