He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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